Day #21 and I'm beginning to hate this diet...
Welcome to Day #21 and today, supposedly, is the day to form a new habit. Oh I'm forming a new habit okay but not the one everyone expects it to be.
We went out for tea tonight with the family and, I swear, I almost jumped off the wagon. I'd have done a flip as well if it meant I could have eaten fish or a burger or anything. As it happens, after some asking, I got bread and houmous and olives, with a side of chips. Why would anybody do this to themselves? It's so restrictive!!! Especially eating out. I miss the spontaneity of being able to eat anything; order whatever I fancy, devour a chocolate bar, buy a snack without having to read the back to find it has 0.0000001g of milk protein in. I tried to buy a vegetable samosa from Booths and it had milk protein in it. Not allowed that. I bought strawberries. STRAWBERRIES!!! I like strawberries but I didn't want them. I wanted that samosa. I was hungry though so...
Following this strict diet when you don't actually have to for medical reasons or whatever feels like not using your hands because you have a moral objection to using them. Oh they're there; they work fine, but you're not using them. Why? Because. Vegetarianism I get: don't kill the animals. But this?! There are people starving worldwide and I'm turning my nose up at a samosa because it has milk protein in it. Probably end up in the bin if nobody buys it. My niece didn't eat all her sausages but could I polish them off despite still being hungry? Not at the moment. They'll definitely end up in the bin. What a waste. My moral compass is all over the place.
Don't get me wrong, the bread was nice although they had to remove three of the five kinds because they contained egg. The food was nice but we didn't get a meal. No no, we got food. Everybody else enjoyed a meal. God the burgers looked good. I kind of hoped she'd come back and say there are no vegan options so I had an excuse to go pescatarian for the day - it's preferable to starving to death after all. And I just feel so weak and tired. Nats' missing chocolate. Proper chocolate like. My 13 year old nephew got a chocolate pudding and then grinned at us, saying "I bet you wish you weren't vegan now". Little sod. I told him he was adopted.
Yesterday wasn't so bad. We had garlic bread, houmous, falafel, olives and salad for dinner. Then I polished off a banana and took my bike out for a ride. Tea was chinese stir fry with vegetable spring rolls. Oh, and I found an ale I can actually drink! I almost cried. Happy tears, not sad one. Firkin Fox; a Badger Ale. In fact, most of the brewery is vegan friendly. Oh, not the cask stuff - filtration systems - but the bottled stuff is fine.
We have made an executive decision to end this after Day #28 though, rather than Day #31 which was the original idea. It's still 4 weeks and technically a month (if that month is February). Oddly, we expected this whole thing to be harder at the beginning but then we'd settle into it. Completely wrong. It was a piece of (vegan) cake at the beginning. We're struggling now. It's just so restrictive. You know, I've already said numerous times that you should eat what you want to eat and that's your choice but this diet; this lifestyle, is not for me. I can't justify it morally and I just don't want to restrict myself so much. I like food. I like to try different foods. Hell, I even like a Big Mac on occasion. I'll eat responsibly, and I'll source food sustainably where possible, but this whole restricting my diet; my life, without good enough cause just seems like something to regret when I'm old and infirm and/or if I can no longer tolerate meat or dairy (I honestly hope that day never comes!!!).
We went out for tea tonight with the family and, I swear, I almost jumped off the wagon. I'd have done a flip as well if it meant I could have eaten fish or a burger or anything. As it happens, after some asking, I got bread and houmous and olives, with a side of chips. Why would anybody do this to themselves? It's so restrictive!!! Especially eating out. I miss the spontaneity of being able to eat anything; order whatever I fancy, devour a chocolate bar, buy a snack without having to read the back to find it has 0.0000001g of milk protein in. I tried to buy a vegetable samosa from Booths and it had milk protein in it. Not allowed that. I bought strawberries. STRAWBERRIES!!! I like strawberries but I didn't want them. I wanted that samosa. I was hungry though so...
Following this strict diet when you don't actually have to for medical reasons or whatever feels like not using your hands because you have a moral objection to using them. Oh they're there; they work fine, but you're not using them. Why? Because. Vegetarianism I get: don't kill the animals. But this?! There are people starving worldwide and I'm turning my nose up at a samosa because it has milk protein in it. Probably end up in the bin if nobody buys it. My niece didn't eat all her sausages but could I polish them off despite still being hungry? Not at the moment. They'll definitely end up in the bin. What a waste. My moral compass is all over the place.
Don't get me wrong, the bread was nice although they had to remove three of the five kinds because they contained egg. The food was nice but we didn't get a meal. No no, we got food. Everybody else enjoyed a meal. God the burgers looked good. I kind of hoped she'd come back and say there are no vegan options so I had an excuse to go pescatarian for the day - it's preferable to starving to death after all. And I just feel so weak and tired. Nats' missing chocolate. Proper chocolate like. My 13 year old nephew got a chocolate pudding and then grinned at us, saying "I bet you wish you weren't vegan now". Little sod. I told him he was adopted.
Yesterday wasn't so bad. We had garlic bread, houmous, falafel, olives and salad for dinner. Then I polished off a banana and took my bike out for a ride. Tea was chinese stir fry with vegetable spring rolls. Oh, and I found an ale I can actually drink! I almost cried. Happy tears, not sad one. Firkin Fox; a Badger Ale. In fact, most of the brewery is vegan friendly. Oh, not the cask stuff - filtration systems - but the bottled stuff is fine.
We have made an executive decision to end this after Day #28 though, rather than Day #31 which was the original idea. It's still 4 weeks and technically a month (if that month is February). Oddly, we expected this whole thing to be harder at the beginning but then we'd settle into it. Completely wrong. It was a piece of (vegan) cake at the beginning. We're struggling now. It's just so restrictive. You know, I've already said numerous times that you should eat what you want to eat and that's your choice but this diet; this lifestyle, is not for me. I can't justify it morally and I just don't want to restrict myself so much. I like food. I like to try different foods. Hell, I even like a Big Mac on occasion. I'll eat responsibly, and I'll source food sustainably where possible, but this whole restricting my diet; my life, without good enough cause just seems like something to regret when I'm old and infirm and/or if I can no longer tolerate meat or dairy (I honestly hope that day never comes!!!).
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